Forgiveness is one of the most powerful and challenging themes in the Bible. Whether it’s forgiving someone who has deeply hurt you or learning to forgive yourself, the act of releasing offense and bitterness is central to our Christian life. Yet, forgiveness doesn’t always come easily. It requires intentionality, humility, and spiritual maturity. In this blog post, we’ll explore what the Bible really says about forgiveness, how you can learn to let go and move forward in freedom and peace while using discernment. Forgiveness does not automatically mean reconciliation. I often say, “Take everybody back to the Lord in prayer,” after all, He’s the revealer of “all” truth. He’s also our “helper” who walks us through this process of forgiveness because, if we’re honest, some cases are more difficult than others.
Understanding What Forgiveness Really Means
Forgiveness, according to Scripture, is not simply forgetting a wrong or excusing hurtful behavior. It’s a conscious choice to release resentment and cancel the moral debt someone owes you, even when justice feels deserved. Forgiveness is not saying the pain didn’t happen—it’s saying the pain no longer has power over you.
Colossians 3:13 instructs believers, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” This verse reveals two key truths: forgiveness is expected, and it’s modeled after God’s forgiveness toward us. It is not based on whether the other person apologizes or deserves it. It’s based on grace—the same grace that God has extended to us.
Why Forgiveness Matters in the Christian Life
One of the most compelling reasons to forgive is that God commands it. Jesus consistently emphasized the importance of forgiveness, especially in the Lord’s Prayer, where He says, “Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us” (Matthew 6:12). In the very next verse, Jesus warns, “If you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:15). That’s not a light statement—it’s a spiritual principle that impacts our relationship with God.
Unforgiveness creates spiritual blockage. It hardens our hearts, poisons our thoughts, and becomes a barrier to intimacy with God. When we refuse to forgive, we essentially keep ourselves chained to the very offense we’re trying to escape. True freedom comes when we release others from the debt they owe us and trust God with the outcome.
Biblical Examples of Forgiveness
Throughout the Bible, we see powerful examples of forgiveness that offer both inspiration and instruction. One of the most moving stories is that of Joseph in Genesis. Betrayed by his brothers, sold into slavery, and imprisoned unjustly, Joseph had every reason to harbor bitterness. Yet, when given the opportunity to take revenge, he chose forgiveness. In Genesis 50:20, Joseph tells his brothers, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good.” Joseph’s ability to see the bigger picture and trust in God’s sovereignty allowed him to forgive and restore his family.
Then there’s Jesus, who demonstrated the ultimate act of forgiveness. As He hung on the cross, enduring physical agony and emotional betrayal, He prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). If Jesus could forgive in that moment of unimaginable pain, we too can learn to forgive those who have wronged us.
Learning to Forgive Yourself
Often overlooked in discussions of forgiveness is the struggle to forgive ourselves. Many people carry the weight of past sins, mistakes, or poor decisions long after they’ve repented. This self-condemnation becomes a spiritual hindrance and undermines the grace of God.
1 John 1:9 reminds us, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” If God has forgiven you, who are you to keep punishing yourself? Holding onto guilt when God has released you is like trying to pay a debt that’s already been paid. To forgive yourself, you must accept that you are not your past. God’s mercy is bigger than your worst failure. Move forward in His grace, knowing that you are redeemed, restored, and made new.
How to Practically Forgive and Let Go
Forgiveness is not a one-time event; it’s often a process. Here are practical steps to help you on your journey toward true forgiveness:
- Acknowledge the Hurt: Don’t minimize what happened. Name the offense, feel the pain, and invite God into it.
- Make the Decision to Forgive: Forgiveness starts with a decision, not a feeling. Choose to release the offender even if your emotions haven’t caught up yet.
- Pray for the Person Who Hurt You: Jesus instructed us to pray for our enemies. It may be difficult at first, but prayer softens your heart and shifts your perspective.
- Set Boundaries If Needed: Forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing toxic people to continue hurting you. Healthy boundaries protect your heart and peace.
- Speak Life Over Yourself: Declare God’s promises. Replace bitterness with truth. Meditate on Scriptures about healing, peace, and grace.
Forgiveness doesn’t change the past, but it transforms the future. You can’t control what others do—but you can control how you respond, and that response can be rooted in freedom.
Letting Go Doesn’t Mean Forgetting
Some people mistakenly believe that forgiveness requires forgetting. That’s not what Scripture teaches. God doesn’t expect you to erase painful memories—He wants to redeem them. You may still remember the hurt, but the goal is to remember without the sting.
In Philippians 3:13, Paul says, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead…” The word “forgetting” here doesn’t imply amnesia—it means choosing not to let the past define your direction. Letting go means loosening your grip on offense and tightening your grip on God’s truth.
The Rewards of Forgiveness
When you forgive, you free yourself. Bitterness weighs down your spirit, affects your health, and distorts your perspective. But forgiveness brings peace, emotional healing, and spiritual renewal. It opens the door for reconciliation, inner peace, and a deeper walk and intimacy with God. Isaiah 43:18–19 encourages us, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” God cannot do something new in your life if you’re still clinging to what happened yesterday. Forgiveness makes room for your future.
Final Thoughts: Forgive to Live Free
Forgiveness in the Bible isn’t just a moral suggestion—it’s a pathway to freedom. Whether you’re struggling to forgive someone else or battling to forgive yourself, know this: God understands the depth of your pain, and He offers the grace to help you release it. Letting go doesn’t mean you approve of the hurt; it means you trust God to handle what you can’t.
When you forgive, you don’t lose—you gain. You gain peace. You gain clarity. You gain freedom. Most importantly, you gain a heart more like Christ. Let today be the day you stop carrying the weight and start walking in grace. Forgive, let go, and move forward.
